Missed Connections | Experience Life | StarLit Eyes!

Missed Connections!

Missed connections, but reunited!!

There's a scene in Dil Chahata Hai (it's a Bollywood movie) where Sid gives a valuable life lesson about friendship. In a gist he says, though we all want to hold on to our friends forever most of the times life just gets in the way! It's sad but true! 

Remember that school friend you used to share your tiffin with. The friend you used to wait to play with. Or that friend you discussed your latest crush till late at night with. The one who had all the answers to your problems. Or the friend who'd give you their maths homework when you hadn't done yours. The one you wanted to be friends with so that you could be in the "cool kids" gang. Or the one who knew everything good, bad and ugly about you and still loved you to bits! Your first friend who when you were the new kid in school and nobody wanted to talk to you because of your funny accent came up and asked your name. The friend you did weird antics with that everyone else in class found cringeworthy but the two of you found hilarious. Or that friend who was your best friend and worst enemy all at the same time. Remember them!!

Friends were what made school and college bearable for most of us. Some of us had in a " har ek friend jaroori hota hai" fashion, a friend for every mood while some of us had a " Man Friday" type friend who had all the qualities of a good friend rolled into one! Whether you had a village of friends or just a friend, there was a time when living without them seemed impossible. 

Unfortunately for most of us, with time, "thick as thieves" friends become Facebook friends. Today, most friendships are digitally sustained through Facebook like buttons, Instagram heart emojis or Watsapp messages. Gone are the days of heartfelt connections. I completed most of my schooling in the pre-FB era. I remember spending hours talking about nothing with friends, writing long sappy letters to friends on their birthdays to let them know how special they were to me, making hand made cards. I also remember having friends who decorated their house to give me a surprise birthday treat, friends who would come to pick me up from my house and wait till I got ready to go out, friends who'd stand up for me and friends who'd share their deepest darkest secrets with me. But as life pulls us all in different directions, the bond you once shared with the best of friends wanes. Let aside meeting or calling a long lost friend, even writing a mere text message seems like a chore, something you have to take out special time for!

I don't believe in gender stereotypes, but in this instance I think I conform to one. As a female, it's been harder for me to hold on to once inseparable friendships. Being a wife, mother, sister, daughter, daughter-in-law takes precedence over being a friend. This is a conscious choice most females make. Family life demands a new set of friends, very different from the ones you have when you're single. You start making " couple friends ", essentially friends both you and your spouse can hang out with. Or if you're a mother, you look for friends who have kids so that play dates and friendly lunch dates can be merged! Don't misunderstand my words to mean that these new found friendships aren't as deep or satisfying. They are as essential to this phase of your life as the ones of your school life were to that time. Still, you'll always miss your best friend in school and your college mates.

Childhood friends are special. They know you in your truest and rawest form. They know your flaws, your weaknesses and still support your dreams, your aspirations. Recently, I reunited with long lost friends, from school and college. We reminisced, laughed, talked about life, how our dreams and hopes had turned out and what lay ahead. And I realized the bond we shared all those years back was still there!

So, this year I resolve that instead of believing Sid (from Dil Chahata Hai), I'm going to try and be more like Rachel, Monica and Phoebe (from Friends).  Don't let the deep bonds of friendship fester into missed connections. Preserve, maintain and cherish them, both old and new!

Friends: Old & New!!

Tell me about your missed connections in the comments section!